In this episode, I sit down with Anna Sonoda, a clinical social worker with years of experience working with sex offenders. We dive deep into the psychology of grooming, breaking down the subtle tactics predators use and how we, as parents, can safeguard our children. Anna shares insights from her book, Duck Duck Groom, explaining the four key stages of grooming and how offenders manipulate not just children, but entire communities.
We also discuss the rising concerns around peer-on-peer abuse and why it’s more important than ever for parents to be proactive. Anna gives actionable strategies to recognize red flags, protect our kids, and create safer communities. If you’ve ever wondered how to sharpen your awareness and take meaningful steps to prevent child abuse, this is a must-listen.
Key Takeaways
[00:00] Welcome & Introduction
I introduce my guest, Anna Sonoda, and share why her book, Duck Duck Groom, is an essential read for parents.
[02:22] Anna’s Background & How She Started This Work
Anna talks about her journey as a clinical social worker and what led her to work with sex offenders. She explains how sitting face-to-face with offenders gave her insights into their thought processes and behaviors.
[04:34] What Grooming Really Looks Like
Anna breaks down the four stages of grooming—flattery, favoritism, forbidden fruits, and fear—and explains why most predators don’t fit the “creepy stranger” stereotype.
[07:11] The Limitations of the Sex Offender Registry
We discuss why relying on the sex offender registry isn’t enough and why most predators never end up on it.
[12:31] How Groomers Target Parents First
Predators don’t just groom children—they groom adults too. Anna explains the tactics offenders use to build trust with caregivers to gain access to kids.
[20:13] How Offenders Groom Entire Communities
We talk about the ways predators manipulate entire social circles, making it difficult for people to believe allegations when they arise.
[26:55] Red Flags & Early Warning Signs
Anna shares key behaviors to watch for, both in adults and children, that could indicate grooming.
[32:46] The Power of Showing Up
We discuss why parental presence is one of the strongest protective factors against abuse and why being the “unpredictable parent” can deter predators.
[36:08] Peer-on-Peer Abuse is Rising—Here’s What You Need to Know
Anna highlights the alarming rise in peer-on-peer abuse and how easy access to pornography is shaping harmful behaviors among kids.
[41:44] How to Talk to Kids About Grooming & Body Safety
We go over practical ways to start age-appropriate conversations with kids about staying safe, recognizing red flags, and setting boundaries.
[46:34] Where to Find Anna’s Book & Final Thoughts
Anna shares where listeners can find Duck Duck Groom and her additional resources for parents and survivors.
Anna Sonoda’s Book:
- Duck Duck Groom: Understanding How a Child Becomes a Target is available on Amazon.
Anna Sonoda’s Website:
- For more resources and information, visit Anna Sonoda’s official website.
Additional Resources:
- Anna has been featured in various interviews and podcasts discussing child safety and grooming prevention. You can find these appearances on her “Listen and Watch Here” page.
ABOUT ANNA SONODA:
Anna Sonoda is a graduate of Emory University, where she double-majored in Anthropology and French Studies, and earned her Master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Georgia in 2006. She obtained her clinical license in 2009.
Anna’s diverse clinical experience includes counseling convicted sexual offenders, working in residential mental health, providing outpatient anger management and domestic violence treatment, and supporting individuals with dual diagnoses in both residential and outpatient settings.
Her extensive counseling work, combined with her personal journey as a mother, deepened her understanding of the critical importance of recognizing grooming behaviors. This realization led to the creation of Duck Duck Groom: Understanding How a Child Becomes a Target (2022), a resource designed to help parents and professionals protect children from sexual abuse.
Anna’s latest work, Duck Duck Groom: A Guided Journal, provides survivors of childhood sexual abuse with a safe space to reflect on how grooming played a role in their experiences, empowering them on their healing journey.